I kinda love spam emails like this. Spammers with double identities… bizarre philosophical quotes… what?
from: anne.karin.oksnes@tine.no
date: Sat, Mar 19, 2011 at 4:19 PM
subject: Cathedral
to: spamcarnivalThat it was not for him to begin anything anew but that he must live out his life, content to do no harm, and not disturbing himself or desiring anything.
http://midiclxnf.ru
Sincerely Your, Lannon Confucius.
Filed under Prose, spam in general
Poor Vashon. Poor Jen. Poor the centre.
from: vashon elenctic
to: spamcarnival
sent: Sun, May 15, 2011 11:42:34 AM
subject:i can’t support the centre any longer. jen is part of the centre and if i let the centre down, i feel i will also let jen down. i have great shame at being a loser, but even more shame at being poor
Filed under spam in general
It’s rare that I receive such a personal touch from spammers. Thankfully, Thornton understands how much I love spam. It feel so good to be noticed!
Plus, Thornton is so excited to speak to me again (even though I don’t remember him).
from: thorton9@earthlink.net
to: Candice
date: Sat, Jul 16, 2011 at 1:08 AM
subject: Hey Candicehi Candice we haven’t spoken in a while. I want to let you in on this , I am going to have a great year this year with this!! Check it out http://bit.ly/qm4ABu
In English, every word can be verbed. Would that it were so in our programming languages.
Filed under Prose, spam in general
Geez, it’s hard to keep up these days, but have no fear… Spam Carnival is back up and running once more!
This one was sent to me without a subject line (sad times!), but… it’s really just too wonderful to not share.
Ram the hell out of your girl and leave her ass in debt! These boosters will make your desire skyrocket! Try just once and you ll understand all the benefits of this approach to solving male problems! Prices are Down for just two next days!
Filed under Love and Sex, Money and Finances
Are you familiar with the work of Skilton? I wasn’t either, at least not until I got this email. You’re gonna love this one, I just know it.
from: Skilton
to: spamcarnival
date: Sat, Dec 5, 2009 at 10:14 PM
subject: stooping dowlooked at it. The older part and the whole of the west front was Elizabethan, but the Georgian architect entrusted with the task of building a great extension had carried out his work in a manner almost inspired. Lines and curves, sweeping everywhere towards the same constructive purpose, had been harmonised by the hand of time into a most surprising and effectual unity. The criminologist, notwithstanding his unemotional temperament, repeated his exclamation as he resumed his place in the carriage.
“This is where you’ve got us beaten,” he admitted. “Our country places are like gew-gaw palaces compared to this. Makes me kind of sorry,” he went on regretfully, “that I didn’t bring Lenora along.” The Professor shook his head. “You were very wise,” he said. “My brother and Lady Ashleigh have recovered from the shock of poor Lena’s death in a marvellous manner, I believe, but the sight of the girl might have brought it back to them. You have left her with friends, I hope, Mr. Quest?”
[Illustration: LORD ASHLEIGH IDENTIFIES THE CAPTURED MAN AS CRAIG.]
[Illustration: "CRAIG DISAPPEARED ABOUT HERE, SIR"--SAID THE GAMEKEEPER.]
“She has an aunt in Hampstead,” the latter explained. “I should have liked to have seen her safely there myself, but we should have been an hour or two later down here, and I tell you,” he went on, his voice gathering a note almost of ferocity, “I’m wanting to get my hands on that fellow Craig! I wonder where they’re holding him.” “At the local police-station, I expect,” the Professor replied. “My brother is a magistrate, of course, and he would see that proper arrangements were made. There he is at the hall door.” The carriage drew up before the great front, a moment or two later. Lord Ashleigh came forward with outstretched hands, the genial smile of the
A quick Google search reveals that all this jibber-jabber is from a book called The Black Box, by E. Phillips Oppenheim. Skilton is a plagiarist!
Filed under Short Story, spam in general
I think “amusing apparatus Lily” sounds like a poorly-named burlesque performer.
from: Ajay Curtis
to: spamcarnival
date: Tue, Oct 26, 2010 at 9:55 PM
subject: amusing apparatus Lilydisintegration in cheekbone’s my benefactor do consists your Crookes early Cortland tv
Our site showcases all the latest watches from around the world, from every major designer, including Audemars Piguet, Bulgari, Chopard, Ebel Longines, Omega, Patek Philippe, Rolex and TAG Heuer. Several hundred beautiful and meticulous full-color photographs not only show the watches’ style and exquisiteness, they also give you the perfect view before you purchase.
injected im explain list disinter online Berber too forlorner few Gloria go
Filed under Lame Product for Sale, Prose, spam in general
MMM. Can I get a benefit sandwich please? Extra sauce.
from: JuicyDating@impolitedime.com
to: spamcarnival
date: Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 6:00 AM
subject: Your Saucy Benefits are Here. Taste Them!
Surprise from Your Friends with Naughty Benefits.
Be Naughty – Guess what! Your Fantasies are all Here – tasty and REAL.
If you would like to unsubscribe from any further emailsClick Here or write to:
EasyDate plc
410 Park Avenue, 15th Floor
New York, NY 10022
The links in this email leads to a website called “impolitedime.com” — interesting! The website background is white, has a Times New Roman black font, and has all of its links in a row. There’s no design.
BUT there’s this picture, which is all over spam:
Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general
Huh. Must be kinda difficult to hand something to someone without being able to touch it. This dude must have telekinesis.
from: m_rhames@dynarand.com
to: spamcarnival
date: Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 7:21 AM
subject: I handed him the book of birdsbut I had never been allowed to touch it
Filed under spam in general
Oh, I love Kelly’s blog (who?)!!!!!
from: Recently got a job offer?
to: bikash.mohanty1975
date: Sat, Apr 16, 2011 at 12:37 AM
subject: Obama’s policies affecting unemployedI read Kelly’s blog last month and decided to feature her story in our weekly consumer report.
Filed under I've Been Renamed, spam in general
Don’t be so desperate… it’s unattractive.
from: Freida Anaya
to: spamcarnival
date: Thu, Apr 16, 2009 at 12:21 PM
subject: Hello pleasePlease
Filed under spam in general
Well… I don’t have a sister, but if I did, I would hope someone wouldn’t actually give me this directive.
from: eaglelml@smtp01.pevnalinka.cz
to: spamcarnival
date: Wed, May 27, 2009 at 9:54 AM
subject: I saw your sisterJust do her.
Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general
Come on. Aren’t Madonna/sex jokes so 1993?
Well, I suppose it’s more of the combination of the subject and the body* that make me laugh.
from: Patrick Fuentes
to: spamcarnival
date: April 11, 2009 5:15:35 AM EDT
subject: Madonna goes down on a guy in a night club!wall license housekeeper regurgitation
discriminate footfalls confidant regurgitation
*This is not meant to sound postmodern
Filed under Celebrities, Love and Sex, Prose, spam in general
So, I got this epically long email. It’s so long, actually, that I had to put it behind a cut. Get ready for the preachin’!
======
from: anonmail-mixmaster@anonymitaet-im-inter.net
to: webmaster
sent: Tuesday, February 15, 2011 8:39 AM
subject: Fwd:
There are two different opinions regarding to the emergence of this world, some people think, that this world with all live and all events would be a tiny part of the logical causal chain which started with the big bang, the others are convinced of it, that it is finally the fault of Adam and Eve because they have not observed the holy law of God: “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” According to the religious view the emergence of this world through the big bang is a deception of God, a scientific explanation, which was given because without the doubt in God it wouldn’t be possible to test the faith and unbelief of mankind and the sense of this world would get lost. On the other hand, a causal chain out of cause and effect can not have a beginning respectively emerge out of nothing, this contradicts to the laws of science, therewith there’s not only no cause before or for the big bang, but also no energy which would have been necessary for the big bang, even not a tiny disbalance between anything. If two fingers are pressed together, is nothing between them or rather no matter, thrust therein that the universe, the human himself and the bright world which surrounds the human not emerged out of the completely harmless nothing between two fingers or without God, this is simply an imagination which was invented by some humans and which is finally impossible. In the first states of the USA such stories were deleted successfully from the curriculum, so that they weren’t taught any more to the children in the schools. Depriving children of their faith is a serious crime, it’s in the hands of our generation to stop the systematic and unfair education of many million children to the unbelieve!
If the big bang could have happened without God, practically everything could have emerged out of this, but this universe was made exactly so, that the suppositions for live are given, for example without voltage no brainwaves could flow, without radiation this world would be dark and ice-cold, without atoms and the possibility to build molecules live would be impossible, the same would be without many other chemical properties and reactions or without elements like oxygen or carbon or hydrogen or . . ., also the lost of continuity or time or space or matter or the three states of matter or movement or physical or chemical energy or different agencies or . . . would make live finally impossible. Without intelligence something absolute senseless would have emerged out of the big bang or out of nothing, but of course no live. Yes, the only possible explanation is that the universe was constructed deliberately exactly so, that the suppositions for live and higher live are given!
Filed under Epic, Religion & Spirituality, spam in general
I’ve been going through my archives, and I have a ton of incest porn emails. Is incest funny? Not really, but then again, most spam emails about sex are pretty offensive. Still, folks, it’s all about the language. Spammers have the funniest way of wording things. While you’re at it, check out this spammer’s name!
from: Philomena Ogle
to: spamcarnival
date: April 1, 2009 1:26:13 PM EDT
subject: Unusual mothers apex with him
After all, my first girl was my mom
she showeed me how to stuff her gate
Let’s apex tonight!!
Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general
Check out the Google image search for Dr. Jenny Brown. Which one do you think she is?
from: DR JENNY BROWN
to: spamcarnival
date: Sat, May 29, 2010 at 3:22 PM
subject: Hi Dear,Hi Dear,
how are you today I hope that everything is ok with you as it is my
great pleasure to contact you in having communication with you
starting from today, i was just playing around through the internet
search when i found your email address,i want to make a very new and
special friend,so i decided to contact you to see how we can make it
work if we can. please i wish you will have the desire with me so that
we can get to know each other better and see what happens in future.My name is Jenny Brown,i am from United State of America but presently
i live and work in England, I will be very happy if you can write me
through my private email address(jennybrown2525@live.com) for easy
communication so that we can know each other, I will give you my
pictures and details about me upon hearing from you.
I wish you all the best.
your new friend
Jenny Brown.
Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general
