Author Archives: candice
Cathedral
I kinda love spam emails like this. Spammers with double identities… bizarre philosophical quotes… what? from: anne.karin.oksnes@tine.no date: Sat, Mar 19, 2011 at 4:19 PM subject: Cathedral to: spamcarnival That it was not for him to begin anything anew but … Continue reading
Filed under Prose, spam in general
Poor Vashon. Poor Jen. Poor the centre. from: vashon elenctic to: spamcarnival sent: Sun, May 15, 2011 11:42:34 AM subject: i can’t support the centre any longer. jen is part of the centre and if i let the centre down, … Continue reading
Filed under spam in general
Hey Candice
It’s rare that I receive such a personal touch from spammers. Thankfully, Thornton understands how much I love spam. It feel so good to be noticed! Plus, Thornton is so excited to speak to me again (even though I don’t … Continue reading
Filed under Prose, spam in general
I’ll raise YOUR debt ceiling. Wink wink.
Geez, it’s hard to keep up these days, but have no fear… Spam Carnival is back up and running once more! This one was sent to me without a subject line (sad times!), but… it’s really just too wonderful to … Continue reading
Filed under Love and Sex, Money and Finances
stooping dow
Are you familiar with the work of Skilton? I wasn’t either, at least not until I got this email. You’re gonna love this one, I just know it. from: Skilton to: spamcarnival date: Sat, Dec 5, 2009 at … Continue reading
Filed under Short Story, spam in general
amusing apparatus Lily
I think “amusing apparatus Lily” sounds like a poorly-named burlesque performer. from: Ajay Curtis to: spamcarnival date: Tue, Oct 26, 2010 at 9:55 PM subject: amusing apparatus Lily disintegration in cheekbone’s my benefactor do consists your Crookes … Continue reading
Filed under Lame Product for Sale, Prose, spam in general
Your Saucy Benefits are Here. Taste Them!
MMM. Can I get a benefit sandwich please? Extra sauce. from: JuicyDating@impolitedime.com to: spamcarnival date: Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 6:00 AM subject: Your Saucy Benefits are Here. Taste Them! Surprise from Your Friends with Naughty Benefits. Be … Continue reading
Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general
I handed him the book of birds
Huh. Must be kinda difficult to hand something to someone without being able to touch it. This dude must have telekinesis. from: m_rhames@dynarand.com to: spamcarnival date: Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 7:21 AM subject: I handed him the book of … Continue reading
Filed under spam in general
Obama’s policies affecting unemployed
Oh, I love Kelly’s blog (who?)!!!!! from: Recently got a job offer? to: bikash.mohanty1975 date: Sat, Apr 16, 2011 at 12:37 AM subject: Obama’s policies affecting unemployed I read Kelly’s blog last month and decided to feature … Continue reading
Filed under I've Been Renamed, spam in general
Hello please
Don’t be so desperate… it’s unattractive. from: Freida Anaya to: spamcarnival date: Thu, Apr 16, 2009 at 12:21 PM subject: Hello please Please
Filed under spam in general
I saw your sister
Well… I don’t have a sister, but if I did, I would hope someone wouldn’t actually give me this directive. from: eaglelml@smtp01.pevnalinka.cz to: spamcarnival date: Wed, May 27, 2009 at 9:54 AM subject: I saw your sister Just do her.
Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general
Madonna goes down on a guy in a night club!
Come on. Aren’t Madonna/sex jokes so 1993? Well, I suppose it’s more of the combination of the subject and the body* that make me laugh. from: Patrick Fuentes to: spamcarnival date: April 11, 2009 5:15:35 AM EDT subject: Madonna goes … Continue reading
Filed under Celebrities, Love and Sex, Prose, spam in general
THE CAUSE
So, I got this epically long email. It’s so long, actually, that I had to put it behind a cut. Get ready for the preachin’! ====== from: anonmail-mixmaster@anonymitaet-im-inter.net to: webmaster sent: Tuesday, February 15, 2011 8:39 AM subject: Fwd: THE … Continue reading
Filed under Epic, Religion & Spirituality, spam in general
Unusual mothers apex with him
I’ve been going through my archives, and I have a ton of incest porn emails. Is incest funny? Not really, but then again, most spam emails about sex are pretty offensive. Still, folks, it’s all about the language. Spammers have … Continue reading
Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general
Hi Dear,
Check out the Google image search for Dr. Jenny Brown. Which one do you think she is? from: DR JENNY BROWN to: spamcarnival date: Sat, May 29, 2010 at 3:22 PM subject: Hi Dear, Hi Dear, how are you today … Continue reading
Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general
