Author Archives: candice

Exclusive Proopsal

Okay, this post is pretty long. I would apologize for the loads of text displayed below, but there is no way I could pass up the utter nonsense contained in this spam email. Try to think of it as the … Continue reading

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Filed under Best of the best, Epic, Lame Product for Sale, Prose, spam in general

Spammenters

My lovely girlfriend Dana passed this on to me. It’s a screenshot of spam comments from the blog she manages. Thought you’d like this one…! CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE!

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Filed under Spam Art, spam in general

Ooh! Spam Art.

OMG y’all, I gotta get this wallpaper. Spamghetto  describes their products as “the inappropriate, intriguing, irresistible spam-based wall covering that turns the bad ideas flooding your inbox into patterns of insight into the human nature.” I would also describe myself … Continue reading

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Filed under Spam Art

Soft0em Software invites spamcarnival to Get the Newest Products simply

What does Adobe Creative Suite 5 and Ancient Egypt have in common? Upon first thought you may say, “Nothing.” My response to you, dear reader, is: “You were right… until now.” Once again, the power of spam transports us to … Continue reading

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Filed under Lame Product for Sale, Religion & Spirituality, spam in general

I challenge you to invent

When I opened my junk mail folder the other day, I was so excited to receive a challenge. FINALLY! I’m not being solicited for sex or money. This spammer wants me to push the boundaries of my talents and intelligence. … Continue reading

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Filed under Lame Product for Sale, Money and Finances, spam in general

Where in the world is Spam Carnival?

Okay, fine. So I haven’t been around lately. Get off my back! See, Spam Carnival is a one-woman job, and sometimes, this certain woman has to tend to other things, like her real job. I’m happy to announce that there … Continue reading

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Filed under spam in general

Subject Line Round-Up

Hey! This is our 50th Subject Line Round-Up! In celebration, I gave you ten funny subject lines. I know this is what I do every Friday, but… deal with it. Man gets kicked in teeth by horse Strap that diamond … Continue reading

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Filed under Funny Subject Line, spam in general

Subject Line Round-Up

How do these spammers come up with so many ridiculous subject lines for their emails? We may never know. Instead of trying to figure it out like a Westerner, go with the flow and accept the unknown (but if you … Continue reading

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Filed under Funny Subject Line, spam in general

Subject Line Round-Up

Your week was boring and it made you want to rip your hair out. You thought to yourself, “I wish I had ten reasons to laugh… then I would be happy.” I am here today to make that wish come … Continue reading

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Filed under Funny Subject Line, spam in general

Subject Line Round-Up

We’re only 7 days into 2011, and these spammers are already going wild with the spam subject lines. Behold: Look good in any pants Endless joy of humping can’t party lunch amazing writing read around win Jesus Christ To Star … Continue reading

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Filed under Funny Subject Line, spam in general

Beauty & Fashion World

A few months ago, a woman named Sheetal Sharma generously let me in to her secret world: the world of beauty.  And thank the makeup-ridden goddesses that she did, because I now know all of the secrets to being gorgeous. … Continue reading

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Filed under spam in general

Ho ho ho, y’all

Merry Christmas from Spam Carnival! We’ll be back in early 2011.

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Filed under Holidays, Lame Product for Sale

Subject Line Round-Up

This is maybe one of my favorite lists that I’ve ever posted. Super special thanks go out to Spam Carnie Mort, for a great month of Subject Line Round-Ups! Your length and girth are astronomical A dick too big for … Continue reading

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Filed under Funny Subject Line, spam in general

How To Get A Girl To Do Anything And Everyything In Bed

Is this how you get a girl to do anything in bed? Because this is pretty lame. from: Brunjes to: spamcarnival date: Thu, Apr 9, 2009 at 3:45 AM subject: How To Get A Girl To Do Anything And Everyything … Continue reading

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Filed under Love and Sex, Prose, spam in general

I was aware of being somewhere warm and soft

I love the flow of the subject line & body of this spam email.  It sounds like “dukes” is a pretty tormented soul. from: dukes to: spamcarnival subject: I was aware of being somewhere warm and soft date: Fri, Nov … Continue reading

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Filed under Best of the best, Funny Subject Line, Prose, spam in general