Category Archives: spam in general

Cathedral

I kinda love spam emails like this. Spammers with double identities… bizarre philosophical quotes… what? from: anne.karin.oksnes@tine.no date: Sat, Mar 19, 2011 at 4:19 PM subject: Cathedral to: spamcarnival That it was not for him to begin anything anew but … Continue reading

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Filed under Prose, spam in general

Poor Vashon. Poor Jen. Poor the centre. from:  vashon elenctic to: spamcarnival sent: Sun, May 15, 2011 11:42:34 AM subject: i can’t support the centre any longer. jen is part of the centre and if i let the centre down, … Continue reading

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Filed under spam in general

Hey Candice

It’s rare that I receive such a personal touch from spammers. Thankfully, Thornton understands how much I love spam. It feel so good to be noticed! Plus, Thornton is so excited to speak to me again (even though I don’t … Continue reading

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Filed under Prose, spam in general

stooping dow

Are you familiar with the work of Skilton? I wasn’t either, at least not until I got this email. You’re gonna love this one, I just know it. from:    Skilton to:   spamcarnival date:    Sat, Dec 5, 2009 at … Continue reading

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Filed under Short Story, spam in general

amusing apparatus Lily

I think  “amusing apparatus Lily” sounds like a poorly-named burlesque performer. from:    Ajay Curtis to: spamcarnival date:    Tue, Oct 26, 2010 at 9:55 PM subject:    amusing apparatus Lily disintegration in cheekbone’s my benefactor do consists your Crookes … Continue reading

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Filed under Lame Product for Sale, Prose, spam in general

Your Saucy Benefits are Here. Taste Them!

MMM. Can I get a benefit sandwich please? Extra sauce. from:   JuicyDating@impolitedime.com to: spamcarnival date:    Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 6:00 AM subject:  Your Saucy Benefits are Here. Taste Them! Surprise from Your Friends with Naughty Benefits. Be … Continue reading

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Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general

I handed him the book of birds

Huh. Must be kinda difficult to hand something to someone without being able to touch it. This dude must have telekinesis. from:  m_rhames@dynarand.com to: spamcarnival date: Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 7:21 AM subject: I handed him the book of … Continue reading

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Filed under spam in general

Obama’s policies affecting unemployed

Oh, I love Kelly’s blog (who?)!!!!! from: Recently got a job offer? to:    bikash.mohanty1975 date:    Sat, Apr 16, 2011 at 12:37 AM subject:    Obama’s policies affecting unemployed I read Kelly’s blog last month and decided to feature … Continue reading

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Filed under I've Been Renamed, spam in general

Hello please

Don’t be so desperate… it’s unattractive. from: Freida Anaya to: spamcarnival date: Thu, Apr 16, 2009 at 12:21 PM subject: Hello please Please

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Filed under spam in general

I saw your sister

Well… I don’t have a sister, but if I did, I would hope someone wouldn’t actually give me this directive. from: eaglelml@smtp01.pevnalinka.cz to: spamcarnival date: Wed, May 27, 2009 at 9:54 AM subject: I saw your sister Just do her.

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Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general

Madonna goes down on a guy in a night club!

Come on. Aren’t Madonna/sex jokes so 1993? Well, I suppose it’s more of the combination of the subject and the body* that make me laugh. from: Patrick Fuentes to: spamcarnival date: April 11, 2009 5:15:35 AM EDT subject: Madonna goes … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebrities, Love and Sex, Prose, spam in general

THE CAUSE

So, I got this epically long email. It’s so long, actually, that I had to put it behind a cut.  Get ready for the preachin’! ====== from: anonmail-mixmaster@anonymitaet-im-inter.net to: webmaster sent: Tuesday, February 15, 2011 8:39 AM subject: Fwd: THE … Continue reading

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Filed under Epic, Religion & Spirituality, spam in general

Unusual mothers apex with him

I’ve been going through my archives, and I have a ton of incest porn emails. Is incest funny? Not really, but then again, most spam emails about sex are pretty offensive. Still, folks, it’s all about the language. Spammers have … Continue reading

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Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general

Hi Dear,

Check out the Google image search for Dr. Jenny Brown. Which one do you think she is? from: DR JENNY BROWN to: spamcarnival date: Sat, May 29, 2010 at 3:22 PM subject: Hi Dear, Hi Dear, how are you today … Continue reading

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Filed under Love and Sex, spam in general

Exclusive Proopsal

Okay, this post is pretty long. I would apologize for the loads of text displayed below, but there is no way I could pass up the utter nonsense contained in this spam email. Try to think of it as the … Continue reading

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Filed under Best of the best, Epic, Lame Product for Sale, Prose, spam in general